Holy cow my Twitter seems to be burning like, I dunno, the crosses those middle class conservative Trumpians proudly put on their lawns. Too much? I don’t think so when I am seeing one of my favourite movie and literature creations being misrepresented by people who maybe watched the first film once at college to look groovy and now think they know everything about Pinhead. Fuck those people, really, this is a joyous story so let’s get to the joy people! 🙂

Yes, Hellraiser is coming to Hulu from David Bruckner and the writing team behind his last effort The Night House. So far so good, but how does this differ from the last half a dozen movies? CLIVE BARKER IS BACK AS PRODUCER. Yes, the creator of the original novella finally has the rights back and he is blessing this version which tells you everything you need to know. Pinhead is set to be played by The L Word actress Jamie Clayton who posted the above picture on her Twitter. “But Kendall!” oh Jesus, here they come again, hide, they might not see us…”Kendall! They can’t make Pinhead a woman, this is 2021 woke bullshit!” (I have literally read this comment on every tweet from Clive fans excitedly sharing the brilliant news, every single one has a long list of trolls dangling from its thread, trolls that, lest we forget, never read The Hellbound Heart)

There you go, the first appearance of the demon/angel that would later be known as Pinhead. Absolutely genderless, but with a female melodic voice. It’s canon, bitches!

“From the moment I first read ‘The Hellbound Heart,’ Clive Barker became one of my literary heroes. His work is transgressive and completely redefined the horror genre. Under the guiding hand of David Bruckner, we’re going back to the source and taking our inspiration from that original novella.” This is David S Goyer, you know A FAN OF THE ORIGINAL NOVELLA, working with the original visionary creator. Everything just seems perfect about this so far. “Wha, but he can’t be a woman! It’s woke bullshit!”, boy wait till you guys find out she is trans and you are totally going to find her super hot as the queen/king/person of hell, that’s gonna be awkward at those church meetings, eh, Buttkiss? “But, but”

I wish I did not even have to mention those things, yes it is 2021, nerds, this is not ‘woke’, it is going back to the original premise and darkness of the original film. Boy, wait till you guys learn Clive is gay!