Are you coming home today?
I’ll be sat here by the window, waiting
With a hug and a tear and a sugary tea.
The afternoon, darkness arrives
And the rest of the family comes together.
I still serve up your supper
In case you return at that time, hungry.
Your little brother stands sentinel
Holding onto your chair.
We sit in silence
Until the moment I throw your food in the rubbish
And with it the day’s hopes of the family.
Are you coming home this year?
I’ve bought you new school uniform
One size larger for one year later.
I’ve cleared away your teddies
Thinking you’re too old now.
But I’ve saved them if you still love them
They are not lost.
I know how it feels to find your beloved gone.
There is a policeman at the door.
I pray to the God that ignores me that this man brings good news
But his face says otherwise.
I hear the words
And fall behind the biggest cloud.
I can’t talk to you anymore
Knowing that you are gone.
I can’t talk to anyone.
I get up
I stare into my cup
Watch the tea get as cold as my heart.
You weren’t the only life those monsters took that day.
A family here, crushed.
A happiness destroyed.
When I see the photos of them
Japing over your grave
I’m sick for the last time.
The final victim.
Death, a chance to see my beautiful boy again.