A very important man about town

Mail under his arm

Whistling a happy Vera Lynn classic.

Wears Saville Row suits to visit the barber

Same short back and sides as his father

And his father’s father.

Believes deeply in his country

Always stands for the queen

Expects respect and censoring of the obscene.

An unimportant man in his home

It should be his castle but it’s more of a prison.

Two point four children who barely know him

And a gin-filled wife as cold as ice.

He craves real life to match his forgotten dreams

Now wouldn’t that be nice?