Firstly, don’t worry, I don’t come to slay you or to knock you from your high position in the film world following your visits to Middle Earth. No no. I liked Lord Of The Rings as much as the next guy, didn’t love it like some but did like the world that was put up there on the screen and how similar it was to the literary vision that I grew up with. I haven’t seen The Hobbit yet, not a boycott, just wasn’t something I was desperate to see and sure I will come round to it at some point.
I loved King King, the old style movie thrills of a giant ape up there on the screen and the beautiful cinematography and great action. Jack Black? Always, always Jack Black.
No, what I wanted to talk about was the real past, not the big big adventures that the entire world seems to go back to again and again, each time with an extra few minutes stuck on for good luck, no I’m talking about the magic three, as no one but me ever called them – Bad Taste, Meet The Feebles & Braindead. Those were your three masterpieces right there, I remember the fuss when they arrived, James Ferman pretty much hitting the roof when he saw what was coming out of your imagination. As the years went by, the controversy might have dimmed but the entertainment power, sheer exhilarating enjoyment and smile making powers of these movies still stand.
So what I’m asking for is your love. These three little orphans have been ignored too long, aside from the occasional horror festival appearance, they’ve pretty much disappeared. Now we know how much background stuff you had after finishing Kong and LOTR, so there must be loads of footage and documentary footage that we’ve never seen which is just screaming out for a Blu-ray deluxe edition of each. Chuck a commentary on there, details about the stunning effects, backstage jollity and puppet wizardry of The Feebles on their time off, brilliant. Take some of those massive budgets you have now and use a little bit to pour some new magic onto these films and get them back out there.
Thank you for your time, good luck with Smaug and don’t forget where you came from, it’s a magically entertaining place. Now, if I could just convince you by finding the Sodomy song from stone cold classic Muppets-On-Speed epic Meet The Feebles… Oh, here it is. Cheerio!