There’s something on my arm, what is that? A bug? Is that a bug? Man, I aint got time for anything that can move that fast and has that many legs. I try and brush it off but of course it just gets squashed and suddenly my beautiful white shirt has a big red smear on the sleeve, well that’s just fucking great, no really, it’s great. Okay, okay, turn up the Bowie and head back into the wardrobe. Another shirt, start looking around for another bug, no sign, good sign.
Grab the cigarettes, which seems a little pointless when you consider how few places there are in the city where you are actually allowed to smoke these days, but hey maybe I’ll get lucky and find an alley where dressed up women wont tut at me for blowing smoke nowhere near their bitchy faces. Grab the gum too. Go.
There’s a girl having an argument in the corridor, well actually she’s not, she’s having an argument on the telephone whilst standing in the corridor. Bitch. Constant swearing and banging on the wall and calling whoever is on the other end all of the names in the world and when she sees me she looks like I’m the one out of order and says ‘Yes…’ and starts explaining to her former enemy on the other end of the line how ‘some dick just showed up and started staring at me. I know. I know!’ and then she’s smiling and it seems that I must have solved some minor crisis, completely by accident.
On the street, there’s the usual mix of speeding pedestrians and beeping cars and I grab a newspaper and a doughnut and carry on down the street till a man bumps straight into me, puts his phone down and says ‘Hey asshole, how about moving, huh?’ and I just stand there utterly surprised as he carries on with his day. Asshole. Jesus. Fuck. Good job I took double my medication this morning or that jerk-off could have found himself under a bus.
I’m still wound up when I hit the bar and Johnny sees that I am angry about something and he has known me long enough that he knows there is a rant coming and so he gets me a Bud and a Jack and sits back to enjoy the show.
‘So this fucktard just had an argument right outside my apartment and then a guy on the sidewalk threw a fancy fit at me just for walking, I tell you Johnny, there are a lot of assholes out there, hell yeah.’
From the other side of the pool table I hear ‘Sounds like there’s one in here too…’ and I’m up almost before he has finished his sentence. ‘Pardon what?’ I take a cue in hand automatically and give him my best angry look. It’s not too difficult considering the mood I’m in. ‘Nothing buddy, nothing at all’. ‘Really? Nothing?’
I catch him with the cue and break his nose in one, it explodes and covers the baize in red. He screams like a little baby and I follow up with a kick and a punch and he just lays down and his woman is out the door, sensible. I bring my foot down on his head, over and over and over and over. Wipe my boot on the carpet, finish my drinks, tip Johnny five bucks and I’m out in the street wondering what happened to this city and where all the good people have gone. I hear the sirens as I reach another bar where hopefully the company will be a little better.